Cabin Fever 3: Patient Zero – A Swede’s Ramble Through Gruesome Tropics

Alright, folks, let’s dive into Cabin Fever 3: Patient Zero. Now, if you’re expecting this to be an Ingmar Bergman-esque exploration of the human psyche, I think we’re barking up the wrong palm tree here. Directed by Kaare Andrews—hey, not a Bergman, but who needs a Liv Ullmann when you have Sean Astin, right? You might remember him from Lord of the Rings, but here he fights a flesh-eating virus. Quite the career pivot!

The story chucks us into the Caribbean, and lemme tell you, the lush visuals hit like a Marabou chocolate on a cold March night. But this ain’t just a holiday postcard. No, sir. Soon, it’s a skin-crawling nightmare that makes a Swedish winter look like a pleasant sauna experience. There’s gore, and it’s plenty. What starts as a bachelor party on an isolated island turns into a splatterfest much like my uncle’s attempts at making kroppkakor—messy with a bit of horror.

Now, between gasps, I found myself thinking of that summer in Öland when I mistakenly swam too close to a jellyfish. That same skin-crawling feeling. Not so much a virus, but it felt contagious when they all gasped at the beach. And Patient Zero? It delivers on its promise of chaos, with a sprinkle of WTF moments—like cinema’s version of fermented herring.

But, here’s the rub, friends. While it has its moments, it might leave you a bit pekka perplexed. The pacing sometimes felt slower than waiting for the tram in Gothenburg in January. Yet, there’s a charm in its chaos. The film aligns with that universal fear of “what if”?

So, maybe grab a kanelbulle, wrap up warm, and use this as a reminder that sometimes, staying home isn’t that bad. After all, cabin fever in your own place beats getting your face melted off by an aggressive virus. Who knew?

Check the trailer below