Hatchet II Review: A Bloody Nostalgia Trip

Okay, folks, let’s get into the weeds with “Hatchet II”. If you’re anythin’ like me, the first thing you do on a Saturday morning is grab that cup of coffee and catch up on the latest horror flicks that you’ve probably been missin’ out on. Adam Green is back with this one—y’know, the same guy who brought us the first Hatchet, firmly planting Victor Crowley in the pantheon of gnarly horror baddies.

Kane Hodder’s back as Crowley, the human chainsaw himself. And Danielle Harris takes over as the lead, bringing in all the sass and strength you’d expect. It’s like she was born to scream her lungs out, poor thing. But did ya know she’s been that horror darling ever since “Halloween”? This sequel’s also got Tony Todd in it. You remember him? Candyman himself! And maybe it’s just me, but hearin’ his deep voice always gives me a bit of a goosebump down the spine.

Here’s a funny thing, though. Watching all that gore splatter on screen like it’s Midsummer in Dalarna reminded me of that one time I was lost in Gamla Stan. I swear, it felt like tryna find fast food at 1 AM when all you get is eerie alleys and mysterious shadows. “Hatchet II” somehow takes me back to that vibe of feeling both terrified and oddly amused.

Look, it’s all predictable splatter galore, but there’s somethin’ comforting about that, eh? Like slippin’ into an old pair of jeans. Sure, the plot could be…less insane, but isn’t that half the appeal? It’s chop-chop with no intentions of bein’ more than a solid horror throwback.

So, if you’re nostalgically inclined and don’t mind a bit of strange humor amidst the red rain of guts, pop some popcorn and grab your coziest blanket. Just, you know, maybe keep the lights on.

Check the trailer below