G’day friends,

So, I just watched JCVD, and man, let me tell you, this film took me by surprise. We’re talking about Jean-Claude Van Damme playing… well, himself. How often do you see that? And not in a “meta” kinda way like those fancy Oscar movies, but more down-to-earth, gritty, and real.

First off, the opening scene. Have you ever tried a seven-minute single-take fight sequence in your own kitchen, just to see how far you can get before tripping over your cat? No? Just me then. Anyway, this sequence sets the tone for what JCVD is gonna be: raw, messy and surprisingly emotional.

Sure, when I think of Van Damme, my mind races back to childhood memories of watching Bloodsport on VHS with my brother, cramming in together on the living room sofa. But here, he isn’t the invincible action hero. He’s just a guy down on his luck, caught up in a ridiculous hostage situation in a post office of all places.

And let’s talk about that monologue. Remember that awkward time in high school when you had to confess something embarrassing in front of the whole class? Yeah, multiply that by a million. The scene where Van Damme breaks the fourth wall and pours his heart out is like getting slapped with a wet sock of reality. It’s heartfelt and it shows his vulnerable side, which we rarely see. Plus, the cinematography beautifully captures the grittiness, almost like a Swedish noir. Wintery, bleak – you get the drift.

But not everything’s sunny. The supporting characters feel a bit undercooked. I mean, sure, basic character types can work, but here they’re almost too shallow. Like a plate of overcooked pasta without sauce. You know what I mean? However, it actually kinda works in favor of Van Damme’s central role.

And I have to admit, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect – was this gonna be a comedy, a drama, a thriller? Turns out, it’s a blend of all that, kinda like when you mix all the leftovers in your fridge and it surprisingly tastes good.

Overall, JCVD is a wild ride. It’s got the action you crave but sprinkles in a touch of soul. Maybe not the best for a first-date movie night, but certainly one for the books.

Till next time, folks. Oh, and check out the trailer here