Red Scorpion — Exploding Across the Screen with Dolph Lundgren

Well, grab your popcorn, because we’re about to dive into “Red Scorpion,” an action-packed bullet-fest from 1988 directed by Joseph Zito—yes, the same genius behind “Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter.” It ain’t your average flick for a quiet Friday night, that’s for sure. Starring our very own Swedish powerhouse Dolph Lundgren, who storms the desert like it’s his personal Sandhamn, the film is a high-octane rollercoaster—a far cry from those cozy Fjällbacka murder mysteries.

Now, I mix a bit of nostalgia with skepticism here. When I first caught a glimpse of Red Scorpion at a small-town cinema back in ’92 (yes, we’re always a bit behind in our neck of the woods), I was gobsmacked by Lundgren’s muscles. My friend claimed he could hear those muscles flex, though I think it might’ve been the old speakers crackling. Maybe it was both.

Let’s be real, the plot? Textbook 80’s—Soviet supersoldier sees the light, fights oppressors instead of supporting them. It’s like a typical summer day at the archipelago; predictable, but you love it anyway. But Aleksandr Nevsky’s screenplay keeps things engaging enough, and while Lundgren isn’t Ingmar Bergman in emotional depth, there’s an undeniable charm to his stoic expressions. It’s like watching a bear trying to bake a kanelbulle.

Say what you will, the pyrotechnics and desert vistas are nothing short of a spectacle. It’s not just tanks roaring, but the sound of freedom—if you’re into that kind of thing. Maybe it’s my Swedish pragmatism, but while the explosions are entertaining, you gotta wonder how many barrels of lingonsylt you could buy with that budget.

In a nutshell, Red Scorpion is like catching that elusive fish on a chilly morning fishing trip—messy, chaotic, but remarkable in its own right. Give it a whirl, and remember to tuck into some knäckebröd afterward, you might need something solid after such a wild ride.

Check the trailer below