The Colony (aka Tides) – A soggy future with some bite

So I watched *The Colony* the other night—2021 release, directed by Tim Fehlbaum (who sounds like he could be a German techno DJ, but nope, he’s into bleak sci-fi). It’s one of those post-apocalyptic flicks where Earth’s gone completely bananas and humanity’s hiding out in orbit. Honestly, it’s like *Waterworld* had a baby with *Children of Men* and raised it in a Scandinavian winter.

You’ve got Nora Arnezeder in the lead, and she’s doing a solid job. Got that intense, wide-eyed thing going on. Think she could stare down a windstorm, no problem. And Joel Basman pops up looking like he just crawled out of a mud wrestling tournament. Which is… probably accurate, considering 80% of the film is drenched in water or fog.

What hit me most though? The mood. The complete lack of sun. I actually thought of that time in ’92 when my dad forgot we were camping at Stenshuvud in October. Cold, wet, couldn’t light a fire—felt like half the movie, honestly. You really do feel the chill watching it. My toes were frozen and I was indoors.

Storywise, it’s a bit wobbly. The drama’s there—kids, fertility, the end of humankind, etc—but I never got completely hooked. Maybe I was expecting more emotional punch, or at least something slightly less gloomy. I mean, give us *one* functioning flashlight, guys?

Hans Zimmer wasn’t involved in the music but it *feels* like he would’ve wanted to be—moody cello harmonies out the wazoo.

It’s not perfect. But if you like bleak sci-fi with a Euro touch and can handle lots of wet feet, you’ll get something out of it. Otherwise maybe go watch *Wall-E* again for a happier dystopia.

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